Home
Luc (Alex) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Luc (Alex)

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

The Dream - Angels, Soldiers and Death [Dec. 22nd, 2009|09:22 am]
[Tags|, ]

The Dream

As I am desperately late for work, I am limited in the details that I am able to record about the dream. I'll try to cover the important parts.

We were on an island, search around - I think it was the island from the show Lost and we stumbled upon a small cabin, where water would be dispensed for free for anyone asking. A voice came from the source of the water and talked with us "like friends" but because it was godlike, we didn't understand what it was trying to tell us. Inside, we found a "magic" plate with a gem in the center. Then we had to enter some numbers into a computer and then we were somewhere else.

Later a soldier was going to be executed for minor insubordination. It was in a big city, I think it might have been New York but I didn't see any familiar landmarks. They tied him up and threw him out the window, but before they got to the window he whistled a complicated and unusual tune which summoned a black horse. The black horse dove out the window before him and grew wings and took the shape of a human, though his skin was black. (Not black like a person of African decent, but black in a different way, like charcoal.) He swooped down and saved the soldier seconds before he hit the ground and everyone stared in awe and he announced himself as "fallen angel" but the name written on his back was not "fallen angel", but "felling angel."

Later, I went to the movies with my dad and everyone from his side of the family was there even his wife. He was eating from the plate with the gem in the center and he died, unexpectedly. Men came and took him away, and a custodian from the movie house took the plate - and I followed him, asking, and sometimes even yelling to give the plate back but he either couldn't hear me, or was ignoring me. I got to the counter where they sold concessions and I could still see the plate, ready to be washed, obviously picked up by accident - I kept asking for it from different people over and over again - but it was like they did not understand what I was asking for. I never got the plate back.

So I went home. My home had many levels and short stairways in the middle of long halls. My mom told me something - something I can't write here where people would read it and something that I wonder if it is actually true.

I got back to my room, which was like my room in Tooele when I was in High School. I started crying for the first time and wondering if I should make a video announcing that my dad had died.

Then I woke up. I was sad when I woke up because I thought my dad had really passed - it took a minute for me to realize it was a dream. Still, this dream was unusual and unsettling.
link2 comments|post comment

Like . . . Paid account [Dec. 16th, 2009|08:54 pm]
Yeah, so I broke down and got a paid account. Even though I knew that the giant full page ad that you can't turn off seemed to suspiciously coincide with long enough before the "sign up discount" so as to indicate it was deliberate - I'd actually been considering signing up for a paid account for awhile . . . It seems oddly, the same :)

Well that was pointless. Enjoy my ugly face :)

link8 comments|post comment

Temper Tantrum [Dec. 13th, 2009|10:44 pm]
My Linux box was working fine, I turned it on, grabbed Season VII of Ranma, grabbed episodes 10-19 of Cardcaptor Sakura. I watch these with my daughter - she was cute as hell yelling "Ranma no Baka!".

Temper tantrum will resume momentarily. The Baka song:



*ahem*

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

So now my box won't boot up after I moved it. I think it wants to run a manual fsck which would be great if I had a VGA cable so I could see the prompts to allow it to do so. It was in the bedroom with no internet and connecting via lan plugged into wireless router. I tried to run mencoder, but it said it wasn't installed, so this idea of not having internet on the linux box wasn't going to work - I needed to plug it in so I grab packages . . . I didn't think about powering it down as killing it.

I think it's just the HDD. My last backup is over 6 months ago - I really need it to last long enough for me to be able to get those files off. It's either the HDD or it's the motherboard, but because the problem seems to be limited to the HDD itself, I think it's not the mobo. If I replace the HDD and the same thing happens, then I will know that indeed it is the motherboard, but that will actually be good news because it will mean that my HDD is not a paperweight. (The motherboard is also suspect, it was bought at an absurdly low price refurbished as a "temporary" board until I could upgrade . . . shortly after I had to start paying tuition and I haven't had any more since.)

My new camcorder only records to DVD format. That means I need a DVD ripper in order to be able to get the information off so I can post it to youtube or anywhere else that I'd like. Ok, I could use a free DVD -> MP4 ripper that I have on Windows box, but I'd have to upload to a website to convert to format that I could edit with Windows Movie Maker. If a free video editing tool for Windows existed that worked with MP4 that would be great, but it seems like all products are pay products.
linkpost comment

My neck of the woods [Dec. 12th, 2009|12:02 am]
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Location |home]
[mood | tired]
[music |nothing . . . oddly]

So I just finished the CS680 class. I actually took that as an unnecessary elective because I wanted the information . . . that was a mistake. It was not fun, didn't seem particularly informative and was stressful. On the other hand my cryptography class, CS685 was actually quite delightful and pleasant. I absolutely, completely 100% refuse to switch my degree from pure computer science emphasis to information systems emphasis simply because I took two information systems classes. I made a similar compromise once and it made me unhirable for years.

So I dicked around with XNA game studio and made a rudimentary simple text renderer with word wrap where you could individually click each word and it would highlight the word. Then I made an XML parser which would allow me to assign each word a specific ID and render blocks of words in rectangles. (I will later add the ability put in pictures, buttons and perhaps even some very simple scripting.) The idea is to make a full functioning reading program for my daughter.

Most games for children are designed to keep the child occupied - and interest of the child is more important than any education aspect. This is slightly different, I'm not even sure I'd call it a game, even though it will be in a game studio; it's more a tool for an educator. It's going to be a story book setup in which words appear on the screen and the student (in this case, my daughter) is expected to read them. But, it is also expected that there will be a proctor who will identify which words were missed and these can be clicked on and recorded.

I need to make a tool which rapidly converts text into XML for the reading program. A human will still be needed for context sensitive words and things which do not appear in the dictionary. (And well . . . to ensure that input actually makes sense at all.)

I have core words like this

solid 1345
writers 1346
follows 1347
editor 1348
anode 1349
receive 1350
quiet 1351
telephone 1352
hearing 1353
buildings 1354
formed 1355
watching 1356
memory 1357
presence 1358

They are currently sorted by frequency in the English language. I find it hard to believe that "anode" is more common a word than telephone . . or hearing . . or watching. This is where the human aspect comes in ;)

Then there are the words with 2 pronunciations. There are actually reasonably few of them

house A house 154
house To house 154
use A use 155
use To use 155
present A present 235
present To present 235
close To close 394
close Too close 394
increase The increase 483
increase To increase 483

These will need to receive unique identifiers and the program will need to be interactive when generating XML to ask a human which one is meant.

I find myself interacting on Facebook more now than historically, and my simple self imposed monitoring tool which is supposed to regular how often I visit certain sites (to keep me from repeatedly checking for new messages every 5 minutes) was proving inadequate. More and more only being able to check Facebook every 2 hours meant that people would be waiting on replies. It really only takes about 10 seconds to check to see that I don't have a new message, but if I have to specifically disable my utility then access it, then it could take as much as 45 seconds - and while I'm at it, I'm probably going to check out other sites. It just wasn't working. Also, I use chess.com as a break, and I was constantly disabling the tool for that.

I started looking at my tool, because I added google.com in there to get me out of the habit of going to Google whenever I want to search for something. This ran me into a few snags. Blocking google.com impacted my ability to view google documents, log in to youtube, or use google translation tool (obviously.) So I removed google from the blocked sites list and chess.com as well and made a new feature where I can unlock Facebook every 30 minutes, and the timer is independent of the normal site lock (except that unlocking all sites also resets the countdown timer to 30 minutes.)

So I installed the Greasemonkey script so that the fade in effect on Google homepage wouldn't run on my computer. My boycott of Google search is more a matter of principal than it is of usability. I was discussing with Jodee why it bothers me so much - I use my eyes to identify where I want the mouse to go and then I move the mouse. So if the webpage is designed to not show me the information that I need until after I move the mouse, of course that is going to make me angry. It's like . . . you give your delivery man a pizza and tell him to set out that you will call him 10 seconds after the car starts moving to let him know where to deliver it. It's an extra layer of crap for nothing. Google is deliberately trying to slow users down to make people look at their logo and it's fucking bullshit. Jodee told me she didn't even notice because she moves the mouse as soon as she gets to a website. I can't imagine why since the box already has focus, but perhaps this is the normal user thing to do. BUT THAT'S JUST IT GOOGLE - IF POWER USERS ARE INCONVENIENCED AND NORMAL USERS DON'T NOTICE THEN WTF IS THE CHANGE ACCOMPLISHING? In strict numerical terms that is a zero net gain for group B and a negative net change for group A. A negative number plus zero . . . well you get the idea.

I wanted to take a little break with classes, register for CS 502, advanced algorithms or something like that - sounded like a cake walk - but unfortunately it is not offered January . . so I'm taking "Advanced Compiler Systems" or some crap. Why do all the masters level classes have "advanced" before them? I took "Distributed Operating Systems" a 600 level class but 75% of the course was things that had been covered in the 500 level Advanced Operating Systems class. Well that a friggin waste of my time - instead of 2 3 hour classes, why don't they have 1 4 hour class called "Advanced Operating Systems and Distributed Computing"?

Please please please take everything I say here in the right context. I may be whining, but I am generally happy with my education through American Sentinel University (ASU), and I was thoroughly unhappy with my education through University of Phoenix (UoP). UoP made me take an "Introduction to C++ Programming" even though I had taken levels 1 2 and 3 of programming at Utah State University and had worked as a C++ program at the Space Research Foundation for 5 years. They told me the classes were too long ago. I was pissed, at $10k a year you'd think they could offer me a clep test or something. I did all the assignments for the course in the first few hours after logging in, that was my way of passive protesting. (Like, I wasn't going to be a dick to the instructor or students - it wasn't their fault.) That was the only class I ever got a call from a fellow student too. It was like week 4 and he was trying to get an assignment done, and he didn't "get it" at all. I've seen some people that struggle with 1 or 2 ideas in programming, but ultimately they understand at least what a program is even at an abstract level. This guy . . . I don't know why he was still in the class - he didn't get anything - I kinda felt bad for him, but I can't teach someone to think mathematically and programmatically in a few minutes over the phone. At some point you just gotta figure it out on your own. Anyway that class was not my reason for not liking UoP. I switched (ok that is the wrong word, but staying on topic) from Utah State University in a real computer science degree to an information systems degree. I guess it's some kind of like business or something. I didn't fully grasp at the time that I signed up that I was going to receive virtually no technical knowledge whatsoever. I didn't know the full gravity of mistake until I went to apply for a programming job and was all but laughed at when I told them where I was going to school. Word from the wise, if you want a programming job, do NOT go to UoP.

Anyway, Jodee sent me some money on Paypal so I could go get Taco Bell! Thanks Jodee! Get feeling better so you can eat too.

Edarem was released from jail and is looking for a state to live in where sex offenders are allowed to own computers. He was incarcerated for posting videos to YouTube because of a crime he committed 20 years ago. So apparently the first amendment to our constitution has been changed to exclude people not conforming to societies' laws of sexual normality as defined in the present interpretation of the "good ol' book". God bless Amerika.

Um . . . that's about it. I mean, there's probably something else, but I can't think of it right now. It's funny to me that everyone always tells me I am so busy all the time and yet I always feel like I never get anything done.
linkpost comment

Chat Log (probably only amusing to me) [Dec. 11th, 2009|03:44 pm]
This is partly because I was amused, and partly cause I want to see if the color HTML tags will work right.

(3:32:45 PM) Jodee: got yer grade back?
(3:33:02 PM) Luc: Read the tweetz0r!
(3:33:33 PM) Jodee: read your tweets! no new classes!
(3:33:55 PM) Luc: no new classes?
(3:33:56 PM) Jodee: that was probably only funny to me
(3:34:03 PM) Luc: I don't get it
(3:34:06 PM) Jodee: Read my lips, no new taxes...
(3:34:20 PM) Luc: Is that a quote
(3:34:28 PM) Jodee: yeah, a really famous one..
(3:34:33 PM) Jodee: from when you were a toddler.
(3:34:38 PM) Luc: Oh
(3:34:44 PM) Luc: I didn't follow politics as a toddler
(3:34:51 PM) Jodee: Yeah... Bush senior.
(3:35:04 PM) Luc: You know . . . he didn't seem so bad
(3:35:08 PM) Luc: but now his name is tarnished
(3:35:11 PM) Jodee: no he wasnt
(3:35:18 PM) Luc: Just saying "president Bush"
(3:35:24 PM) Luc: Even if you qualify with Sr
(3:35:28 PM) Luc: It still sounds worse
(3:35:30 PM) Jodee: yeah
(3:35:42 PM) Jodee: How about the good president father of the moron.
link2 comments|post comment

Fixing Google's Fading In Problem [Dec. 10th, 2009|01:52 am]
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]

After I settled down - I looked into this problem a bit and found everyone is pissed off . . . well duh! I'm pretty sure some retarded Exec at Google was troubled by the idea that people used Google as a tool rather than as a brand and schemed some absurd way to confused users and force them look at the page - hence reinforcing their brand. I resent corporate manipulation BS like that and will gladly offer my money to people who don't claim to represent me. Microsoft, I know you want the money - and I actually believed Google was the good guy for awhile . . silly silly me.

Anyway, here is something I typed up and posted to FB and Topcoder after my initial post earlier.

I'm sure everyone has noticed by now - but a short recap - in order to use the Google homepage for anything other than a websearch, you now have to do a magic spell. (Move mouse, wait 1-2 seconds for most screen elements to appear, only the logo, box and search button are available from initial rendering.) I guess they were inspired by Microsoft's MenuShowDelay or the Dancing Windows XP Search Dog.

Anyway, this works well. http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/63436 It's a GreaseMonkey script to make Google function properly again.

I will personally be doing a boycott and using Bing. I somehow doubt they'll care.
HTH
link4 comments|post comment

I switched from Google to Bing [Dec. 10th, 2009|01:15 am]
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Location |here]
[mood | angry]
[music |Serj & Khatchadour Tankian - Bari Arakeel]

Google really made me mad earlier today.

Previously, I had my site manager tool block Bing. I switched it to block www.google.com, at least until I'm used to using a different search engine.

I wanted to search for a news article on SQL Injection Attacks, so I loaded google.com and tried to click news but everything was missing. The page was bare except for the logo and text box. So I was like . . . WTF? Then a few seconds later, the normal bar at the top of the page was visible. So I assumed this was some kind of rendering error, or problem with Firefox. NO!

This is a deliberate "make the user wait" animation.

OMFG

I expect this kind of shit from Microsoft. MenuShowDelay, stupid dancing dog animation before you can type your search in. I do not expect this from a company which claims to be about innovation, efficiency and simplicity.

ANY animation is unnecessary - but animation which makes a page/tool unusable until it is finished is downright offensive.

I signed a petition to remove the feature. I guess it is an option that can be turned off, but I will not use google, at least until the default option is to waste time for billions of users. (Life span is less than 3 billion seconds, so they are stealing the equivalent of 1 person's life every day by my estimation. Sure they are no Bush / Cheney murder crew, but time's all we got.)

In light of this new trend though, I have some great new product ideas.
1 - a phone which has a 10 second wait before you can begin entering a number.
2 - a car whose has pedal doesn't work for 5 minutes after starting the car. (Oh but there is a hack in the glove box to change it if you don't like it.)
3 - An alarm clock whose snooze button doesn't work until 1 minute after the alarm has been going off (it fades in)

If Google values the business of technologically proficient users, they need to introduce all features under the subsection of "Annoy The Fucking Shit Out of Me" as strictly opt-in instead of opt-out and that goes for their daughter company YouTube. (Filtering of profanity as default option, WTF???? Don't even get me started on the subscriptions default actions.)

Actually, I have an entire blog worth of suggestions for youtube - I'll hold onto that. ;)
linkpost comment

Maybe I'm crazy [Nov. 22nd, 2009|10:32 pm]
[Tags|]
[mood | calm]

Something is different about my new place. I can't quite explain it.

Or rather . . . I don't want to explain it because I don't want everyone to know I'm crazy. **maniacal laugh**

Let me put it this way. For at least the last 10 years it's always "seemed" like everything I ever said was being recorded somewhere. Whether or not it was being listened to is another story.

I don't think it's schizophrenia - just plain old fashioned paranoia.

But if this is how I've always been, then what is different? Why wouldn't I think the same thing here?

All of my paranoias are slowly unraveling. All my delusions of persecution are finding logical explanations.

But I am persistently troubled by paranoias until they have "served their purpose". Then after my paranoia leads me to do something that I wouldn't normally have done, then all the sudden the source of the paranoia is revealed and I can move on.

Maybe this is what it means to be guided by fate?

I don't think fate made me paranoid - that's ridiculous. But instead of my paranoia being a useless, troubling thing, it was guided to benefit me in ways I cannot understand. And while being afraid is exceptionally unpleasant, it is a powerful motivator.

But I feel like something's missing. I've been afraid of nothing for so long that my life feels empty. And something is troubling me. If fate really did act to move me less than 50 miles from where I lived before . . . why?

There are many benefits to living where I do now, not the least of which is financial. But I don't think God concerns himself with my petty checkbook.

While the "man behind the microphone" was probably nothing more than a long lived imaginary childhood friend, I kinda miss him. I spent many hours of my life talking to the air trying to provoke him, deceive him, irritate him, confuse him.

It doesn't feel imaginary - I feels gone. But if I admit that I truly believed it, then is that the same as admitting I am crazy? What I propose is not outside the scope of our technological capabilities. The only thing lacking is motivation and financing, but I dedicated the years of 1993 - 2005 to inventing reasons WHY I was targeted and after that long some of them start to make sense and as I discover the fallacies in my own ideas I refine them.

Hehehehe

Being crazy was fun, just like being addicted to porn was fun or playing video games 18 hours a day was fun or gaining 30 lbs in one fall. It's all different now - losing weight, hardly ever playing games, no porn at all* and most of all, I don't feel crazy.

Good lord! Have I grown up?

Then again, crazy people don't think they're crazy. Maybe my 'radical liberal stuff' is just my new crazy - imagining that people deserve rights even if they've committed a crime, reading Bin Laden's Fatwa or insinuating that Abstinence only sex ed actually increases teen pregnancy or defending Iraqi Resistance Fighter's stance. Oh yeah, I'm out there!

* My definition of "no porn" is probably different than what say a conservative Christian would think, but I'm not going to go into details here.
linkpost comment

Bye Bye Idaho! [Nov. 21st, 2009|06:34 pm]
Though I never gave up my Washington State Residency, my domicile is now once again inside Washington.

I'm moving in as we speak - I was just testing the internets. Seem to be working :)
link1 comment|post comment

Writer's Block: Book review [Nov. 18th, 2009|08:27 am]
[Tags|]

What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?


View 1455 Answers



What kind of question is this? Of course I would never ban a book from anywhere!

There are books that annoy me - I'm pretty sure Going Rogue would annoy me, if I looked at it - but I don't think it should be banned.
linkpost comment

Video for the Lolz . . Shutup and f!$% me [Nov. 13th, 2009|09:54 am]
link2 comments|post comment

Poweroff [Nov. 9th, 2009|09:59 pm]
login as: luc
luc@192.168.1.99's password:
Linux Sakura 2.6.26-2-686 #1 SMP Sun Jun 21 04:57:38 UTC 2009 i686

The programs included with the Debian GNU/Linux system are free software;
the exact distribution terms for each program are described in the
individual files in /usr/share/doc/*/copyright.

Debian GNU/Linux comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY, to the extent
permitted by applicable law.
Last login: Mon Nov 9 21:31:09 2009 from mariposa.local
luc@Sakura:~$ sudo poweroff
[sudo] password for luc:

Broadcast message from root@Sakura (pts/0) (Mon Nov 9 22:05:35 2009):

The system is going down for system halt NOW!
luc@Sakura:~$


. . .

Connection Lost

- - - - - - -

Why have I been using shutdown when there is a poweroff command . . . it's so simple - and I don't get some stupid system halt that I have to push the power button myself. Better this way.

Linux si r0x0r . . . maybe someday I will have the money to actually fix my computer so it will be stable for more than 30 minutes. Until then I don't technically have a personal computer.
linkpost comment

Writer's Block: Change is good [Nov. 4th, 2009|03:17 pm]
[Tags|, , ]

If you could change one major thing about your life, whether a relationship, your job, your living situation, your school, etc., what would it be? Are you currently working toward a serious life transition?


View 1281 Answers



I regret being so far from my family. Out of driving distance is too far, methinks.

When I left nobody in my family was sick, now that has changed. Going to visit family is now a chore - people get feelings hurt when they feel I didn't spend enough time at one place - it consumes all my vacation days.

In my ideal world, everywhere I wanted to go and everyone I wanted to visit would be within walking distance of my front door. Time spent commuting is just minutes of your life that you will never get back with no real gain. Perhaps it would be better if I had a stereo that I could listen to my podcasts on. Hmmmm
linkpost comment

VLOG: Choosing Ideology over Science [Nov. 1st, 2009|11:36 am]
link6 comments|post comment

Writer's Block: Mysterious benefactor [Oct. 29th, 2009|04:23 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]

If you could give a secret gift of any value to one anonymous recipient, who would you choose and what would you give them?

Submitted By [info]enchantra71


View 791 Answers



This is going to be boring, but I wanna say it anyway.

I would give someone an operation that they need but can't afford.
link1 comment|post comment

Home of the free? [Oct. 29th, 2009|02:08 am]
I'm always getting accused of "going to bat for sex offenders". That's funny, I was never accused of "going to bat for terrorists" when I was opposed to The Patriot Act - I wonder what the difference is.

Let me say this though, it has nothing to do with sex offenders, it has to do with freedom. These are just the ones that people in Amerika feel comfortable with stripping away those rights. The restrictions placed on sex offenders read like an Orwellian/fascist's wet dream. We snapped out of it with the Communist thing - will we be able to snap out of it this time around?

People are comfortable with this witch hunt/protections based under the assumption that it will never affect them. I think people who support these types of laws in innocence are under a few delusions:

1. They believe that the laws will never be misued
2. They believe that everyone who has been convicted of a sex crime truly deserve no rights
3. They don't seem to realize that a seemingly minor offense, including victimless crimes can land you on a sex offender registry

Let's cast aside the effectiveness of the following, the fairness to true offenders and speculation on misuse of these laws, even though an exploration of any of these would be sufficient for me to reject these laws. No, let's say - do you want to be one false accusation away from the following?

1. Reporting your residence at all times - and have it publicly available. Not being able to sleep anywhere else without special permission.
2. Explicitly waive all rights of confidentiality
3. Submit for polygraph tests at one's own expense
4. Specific social interactions must be reported
5. Swimming pools, shopping malls, theaters, festivals all require advance permission from an agent
6. Cannot work with 1000 feet of an establishment which sells sexually explicit material or device
7. Cannot own or use a computer without prior permission
8. Unlimited warrantless searching of one's property
9. Arbitrary Curfew at discretion of "agent"
10. Cannot drink alcohol and can be tested at any time for any reason (Results of alcohol test cannot be contested)
11. If determined appropriate by your agent, a GPS tracking system will be installed on your person, at your own expense.

I couldn't make this shit up - this is from the law code for South Carolina Sex Offenders.

You shouldn't sleep well at night in this country. There is a good 3% of the population, the Sarah Palins, who truly do not believe in the value of humanity and like to exploit fear for the purpose of furthering their own agenda and when at least 50% of the population welcomes or is ambivalent to discrimination against a minority from the shouts of their neocon leaders, it puts us all in a precarious situation.

One of my biggest fears is that an organization exists now to ensure that everyone has a vice or a distraction, whether it be running a business (accumulation of wealth) or just trying to survive. Those who are on the defensive are going to be fighting for their own rights, selfishly, not the rights of others. Things like the pointless attacks on gay marriage and insistence of denial of health care to the middle class and the like seem to me to be a distraction to take care of the masses. The remaining "rebels" can be discredited, disgraced, wrongly accused or disabled (probably not killed - I imagine a more subtle and undetectable means of 'taking out' dissidents exist). Sex offender is for all intents and purposes an irrefutable title which can be accredited to anyone on the account of a supposed victim. And it exists because cable news and talk radio have succeeded at convincing the public that they are under attack.

I don't think this is some sort of pre-thought out conspiracy or anything like that (no Illuminati or other silliness). Just Right wing shortsightedness; they choose a particular problem and then select from a list of ways to address the problem: Make it illegal, kill em all, shut em up. The main problem is that they are often not honest and up front about what problem they are trying to solve. So they could easily see that people are scared of pedophiles, and create legislation to protect people from sex offenders claiming that it is to keep them safe and resolve their concern. But what if their motivation from the beginning was the elimination of dissidents, or maybe simpler than that even, just making sure they get re-elected?

I don't consider social conservativism a unified belief system so much as an opposition movement containing every disparate case against a logical liberal basis that centers on the value of freedom and the human. And while the individual arguments themselves may have merit, they do not represent a consistent stance. The arguments against health care reform could be used in favor of abortion. The arguments for abortion could be used against the death penalty. The arguments for right to own guns could be used to eliminate FCC regulation. This aspect of conservativism as delivered by Fox News to millions of people doesn't seem to be noticed by anyone else. I consider conservatives to be the opposition to logic and progress, almost by definition, in what is essentially a power grab from the people who can be manipulated by nonsensical ramblings. Those are truly freethinkers don't have much particular desire to rally behind causes that don't affect them so long as causes which do affect them are being constantly invented by The Right who is so quick to ensure that their position is always on the offensive, no matter the cost.

I don't doubt the intentions of certain conservative citizens; it is specifically the policy makers that I have an issue with. I've heard reasonably intelligent conservatives argue that people need to die for the good of the system and if we let the government take over health care they are going to let people die that they don't feel are worthy of living. This is not two separate subjects, or even two separate correspondences . . . this is their defense of the opposition to health care reform - they can't even make sense from one sentence to the next - do people need to die or not?

I think that what I perceive as them not making sense is actually a bit more of a failure to communicate, though it has taken some time for me to realize this. In retrospect, I was able to conclude that what this individual really meant was that merit-based distribution of health care is beneficial and the basis for that distribution is itself wealth. Since he intends on himself being wealthy, it shouldn't matter if anyone with less money is made to suffer by a defective system. This type of selfishness seems to be prevalent in all humanity, not just conservatives - though I've found many "ultra liberals" like myself to be generally charitable. The problem is, that without the drive and belief that money is the ultimate good in the world, the ultra-liberals are not much of a force to be reckoned with, particularly in the eyes of people who have found a way to base the merit of an individual almost entirely off their monetary value.

And I don't give a shit. Me and 40 million others that think like me, I just wanna study Japanese, teach my daughter to read and be left alone. The last thing I wanna have to worry about is Freedom; we are supposed to live in a free country. THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE AN ISSUE.

But when everybody is passive about freedom, they don't care about domestic spying, domestic troop deployment, internal border control checkpoints (just an excuse to search your car without a warrant), politically motivated dispersals of rallies and modern day Scarlet Letter treatment - you don't need 50.1% of conservatives to be opposed to actual freedom . . you just need 1, and shitload of trusting, or scared, dumb or complacent people to go along with it.

The day that it inconveniences you, there will already be a mechanism in place for shutting you up and by then it will be too late.

I don't care about sex offenders, perse. I care about people and freedom - and I think many others don't.

I wanted to leave this damned country, to somewhere that they do not condemn their leader for not being arrogant, to somewhere that we do not cheer the dissolution of freedom, to somewhere that people who care about their fellow man also vote, to somewhere where shows about civilian initiated entrapment schemes are not tolerated, to somewhere that thinks it's worse to show someone be beaten to death (a snuff film) on Glenn Beck than seeing a nipple shield during half time. You know . . . somewhere that things make sense.

I write one letter about freedom to a judge, and it gets mentioned on the news? Do I really stand out so much? Maybe the country is already gone.

There's a part of me that has hope though. I'm not impervious to patriotism, I just need to feel like the entire government isn't run by a bunch of assholes. And Fox News can bitch about Obama's apologetics, but it was long overdue. If the world loses confidence in the dollar, we're shot as a world power. And people were fed up with Bush, and now in less than 1 year 20% of all people who called themselves Republican have stopped doing so.

I like Obama. And as much as it scares me, Amerika is and always have been my home. So long as I have family here, I cannot leave.

I want what all people [should] want - to make the world a better place.

In the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I've got to say about that."
linkpost comment

Hello Homeland! [Oct. 19th, 2009|10:51 am]
So I'm back in my homeland visiting family!

My dad brought over some fresh pine nuts and we roasted them up and ate them! They always make the house smell so good!

I get a free haircut whenever I'm down, which is good because my hair is now long enough that it makes my glasses dirty. Dirty glasses = headache . . . um yeah

My daughter just read a book to me with a little help. She's getting pretty good with that! I was going to start reading Ender's Game to her today, but Grandma came back home and she is more interesting than me. We did watch a Ranma though. It's going to be a sad day when we run out of Ranma's, but I imagine I can rewatch the Naruto's or Cardcaptor Sakura's with her - those seem like good kids shows. I don't think the 23 minutes 3 times a week model is that great for immersion Japanese teaching, even though she is saying some words. I . . . . lament . . . ugh . . . I'm thinking of getting an illegal copy of Rosetta Stone for her and seeing how that goes. (Remember, I'm the guy who made the youtube video "I HATE ROSETTA STONE") There is also an affordable product called Kidspeak Japanese.

If I had fucking money I would get her a private Japanese tutor - but I guess that won't happen, cause if I had money I'd get myself a private tutor as well, lolz!

We're going to get her into some martial arts and she is doing well at the private school. I think even private schools go way too slow with the math though, so I work on numbers with her at home and I envision that advancing into programming/algorithms.

I wanted to learn Danish but I don't have any tools to do it with. I have a copy of Pimsleur Russian I, so I'm working on that. I know about half a dozen people online in Copenhagen, but the practicality outside of that is limited (Martin even told me not to learn Danish.) So I imagine I will do Russian then Mandarin Chinese then . . . god . . . after that I can't really think of any other languages that I really wanna learn. It would be nice to speak Vietnamese to be able to converse at the restaurant, but I think going back and doing comprehensive reviews to fill in the gaps for Spanish, German Japanese and French would be the most prudent. I like REALLY suck at German. Everyone tells me I am "so good at Spanish" and then they say something I don't understand and I think we both feel dumb at that point.

The XNA game studio stuff is coming along well, I'm making a matching game right now and integrating it with a database. Any game studio is probably overkill for something which has no moving objects, but I intend on making a platformer game later. My work with GTGE has helped in understanding how the basic engine works for sprites at least. I have a database of 1 to 1 correlation items, like state capitals, Hiragana, Katakana, numbers in number form and spelled out, Greek Letters . . . I think there was another one. I think I'm trying to win an award for gayest UI of all time - but it's pratical. I have login working, password setup, skills are in one table and then "proficiencies" which link skills to users and levels.

This is too short, have some lolz videos.



link1 comment|post comment

Writer's Block: Agree to disagree [Oct. 1st, 2009|10:30 am]
[Tags|]

Have you ever stopped being friends with someone over differences in political views? Are there any issues that are so important to you that you cannot be friends with someone who holds a contrary opinion?


View 978 Answers



LOL - if I can still be friends with the ultra conservative John M. when I'm used to being the most liberal person that I personally know - I think I can be friends with everyone.

My political beliefs are pretty simple - people are good and should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt other people, say anything they want, hurt themselves or kill themselves if they want etc. If they do something bad, they probably feel bad about it.
linkpost comment

Odd Dream :) [Sep. 19th, 2009|09:35 am]
[Tags|]

I had quite possibly one of the weirdest dreams of all time - unfortunately, it is so disjoint that I can't really put it all together.

We were in a town, which was also a college campus. (The town was Tooele Utah, and the campus was somehow Utah state.) There were people with Heroes' like abilities, except it was "another show" that competed with Heroes. So characters that were supposed to be part of a television show were interacting in real life. There were also people with Harry Potter like magic, and at one point we were in my grandma's house, which suddenly had large castle like rooms - and we had to trap a creature in it that looked like a cross between a dragon and a praying mantis. Even though it was trying to kill us, it got injured and I felt terrible for it.

At one point in the dream I had a "stroke" and was blinded in my left eye (which was depicted with a large black square covering the left majority of half my vision, but there was a visible peripheral strip at the bottom. And then, everything I could see out of my right eye confused me - even though I knew what it was, I didn't know how to interact with it. Spooky.

I was making myself a bowl of cereal with fruit loops, but the fruit loops were huge, like the size of mini bagels. After I had poured milk over the large bowl, I realized the bowl was dirty, so I put it in the dishwasher with the fruit loops in it (upside down, so they should have fallen out). I then put the dishwasher into a special "Deodorizing mode" and a voice started coming out of the dishwasher as some sort of preprogrammed selling points - it sounded like an annoying car salesman, talking about futuristic technology using CO2 somehow to eliminate smells from your dishes. Then, when the dishwasher was done I took out the bowl which still had milk and food in it, and I started eating it until I realized that is must also be full of soap.

Later I was trying to find my math lab, and I was running late. I had a map, but the map seemed to say that my math lab was a really far away which didn't make sense because I knew I'd somehow made it on time yesterday. So I was asking someone where it was and we were talking normally, and we eventually determined it was truly on the other side of town. After I'd "gotten it", and we had drawn a virtual line through the Burger King to orient me - someone grabbed the map and said "Your House, Burger King, Math lab!" I took the map back and said, "Thanks, Dora."

So when I arrived at Math lab, it was someone's house and there was this stupid guy there. We were supposed to work out this formula which was depicted both mathematically and as a Java program on a whiteboard. He informed me that he didn't understand the "math shit" but that he and his brother would act out the program - and they began some weird mime routine that was supposed to represent the iterations of the function.

Now it's very clear to me most of the "fake scenes" and triggers which caused the events in this dream - but I have no real intention or desire of going through them one by one. What disconcerts me is the lack of narrative that my mind usually puts into a dream, particularly one where I've slept this long. I'm fighting off some kind of near symptomless virus which only pesters me through fatigue and malaise so maybe my brain is not at 100%. But even sick, usually triggers are much more hidden and dreams have a basic plot. Oh well - it was still fun. I intend on sleeping 10 hours again to cure this mental fatigue.
linkpost comment

Writer's Block: What if calories didn't count? [Sep. 18th, 2009|10:54 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]

If a magic genie told you your calories wouldn't count for 24 hours, would it change what and how much you ate that day?


View 1266 Answers



I kinda treat everyday like that - probably why I got a few extra.

Oh sure . . . if a genie told me that I'd probably find a way to gorge myself even more . . but whatever.

Since this post has been utterly retarded - enjoy

linkpost comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]